Late night thoughts

Being chronically sick is a funny thing, no matter how sick I am there is part of me that always believes I'm going to wake up the next morning and be okay. I spend most of my days being "good" or "okay" fort he sake of other people, but I truly believe that someday I am going to be better. I've been in a weird limbo the past year because my health has kept decreasing, but I'm still convinced that I am okay so I make plans for my future. When I think of waking up tomorrow I never consider that it could be a bad day full of chest pain and shortness of breath, I always see a tomorrow where I can run and skip and just be okay.
It's a really weird thing to realize that I still see myself as the healthy(ier) me from my freshman year of college. I went through a lot of emotional stress my freshman year of college but my physical health was at a peak I hadn't seen and have yet to see again. I was not only exercising regularly, but I participated in outdoor activities with my friends, like playing frisby. I couldn't imagine being able to run after a little flying disk today without hurting myself. Part of me gets upset when I think about the things I was able to do then and how I can't do them now, but part of me is so proud of myself. I am so grateful to those memories and I hold them so close to my heart in the hopes of returning to a healthy place where I can run and play again.
I hold such a reckless sense of optimism for my future sometimes I question if I truly have accepted the means of my condition, or if I am keeping myself locked in a fairytale.

I am so desperate to be healthy again, I just feel like I'm running out of ways to get there.

Beginning Again: Work out #1

Last night I began my journey of training for my half marathon in May. I am really late and according to the training schedule that Disney has made I should be running 9 miles, and to be honest yesterday I had a hard time completing just one. I spent 30 minutes of my treadmill and managed a distance of 1 mile at 2.5 miles per hour. It isn't anything to brag about, but I am proud to have found the motivation to begin again.
After feeling like my efforts in 2014 were a failure I have decided to do my best to push that disappointment and continue running anyway. I spent 2014 running in an attempt to improve my health and by the end of the year I was worse off than when I started. I am hoping that I will still be able to improve my condition with this exercise.

It is my goal to be at a 5 MPH pace by the time I get to my first 5k May 1st. I am participating in the Expedition Everest 5k at Disney World with a good friend of mine. I am confident the 5k won't be a problem. Even the 10k the following week should be no problem. It is the half marathon I am most concerned with, and just the follow up of doing all of these things back to back.
I have 2 months to prepare for this 21 mile weekend, I am going to need your luck!

Past Due Unboxing Video and Chibi Tenshi Review!

I posted a haul video to my youtube channel some time ago, and I promised I would review the shopping service that I used! So i'm going to break down the cost of my order, and review the shopping service!

Here is the video if you haven't seen it:

Everything I ordered came from the Baby the Stars Shine Bright  Alice in Wonderland collaboration collection with Disney Store Japan.
I ordered:

Blouse (size medium): 5,292 Yen
Skirt: 6,372 Yen
Socks: 972 Yen
Clutch Purse: 3,564 Yen

I placed my order with the shopping service Chibi Tenshi on January 28th. She responded the 29th letting me know she got the order and she would order the items as soon as she could!
January 29th she e-mailed me again to let me know she was able to order everything except the skirt, but she said she would try going to the store to get the skirt.
January 29th She gave me the best news, she was able to get the skirt!
February 4th I was e-mailed the invoice for the order via Paypal
February 9th I got an e-mail letting me know everything was shipped
February 13th I received my package! It had to be picked up at the post office, but there were no custom fee's or anything!

The total order in US Dollars was $191.74
That includes The shopping service fee and all the shipping fee's, exchange rates and the Paypal fee.
I couldn't be happier with my order! I will definitely be using Chibi Tenshi in the future for any shopping service needs i have, and I recommend her as well.

As soon as I find a petticoat I deem worthy I will post outfit picks!